Wednesday, March 28, 2007


I know I've written previously about moving outside of my comfort zone. Every day there is something new to expand and stretch me. And naturally my mind resists and then it becomes difficult..even painful.

Busting out of wherever you are at is a breakthrough. It may not always be fun (I don't call anxiety, tears and nervousness fun) but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Eventually I will move effortlessly from one level to another. How cool is that going to be??!! I know that will happen for me soon.

The first step in allowing those breakthroughs to come with ease and grace is realizing my mind is causing the discomfort, the tears and the anxiety. When I see that, it's quite easy to let it go.

Granted I often can only let go of that discomfort for a few minutes..sometimes only a few moments but still, I can let go. With time and practice I will be able to let go much easier. One day I won't even have to let will simply happen. It's called being. It's a blissful state, one I love very much!

Most of today however was not so blissful for me. Try as I might (and yes I only tried..I didn't DO and that caused my problems), I kept falling down the spiral instead of going up. I was frustrated, anxious, worried and on several occasions I cried. I think my inner child really likes the old comfort zone. Too bad!! I HATE it so it's being replaced and she's just gonna have to deal with it. :)

My distress came in the form of a new task: sequential emails. I had to write a series of five emails to our database to inform them of a gift we have for them. Sounds simple right? It is... when you get in the right mindset. The emails were meant to build on each other and tell a story. How hard could it be to tell a story about a man who made a million dollars in his business in under 3 years? There's lot of good fodder in that right?! Of course there is but I avoided it. I thought I knew another way to write these emails. I didn't and I struggled.

After my second set of incorrect emails (total time spent: 8 hours) I had to walk away. I went to the gym but class was cancelled. I ate dinner, played with my dog, walked some video footage online..anything to get my mind OFF my task. I was too entangled in my own mind to see things clearly.

A few hours later I sat down and wrote 7 parts of the story in 7 emails. It flowed fairly naturally and without a great deal of effort. Total time: 1 hour, 15 minutes. It would've been about 40 minutes if I had read the story before I had to write the emails.

Now I am exhausted. I put in almost 9.5 hours of work when about 2 hours would've sufficed. You always need time to educate yourself before writing plus time to actually write.

Before I dragged myself through the quicksand of that email task, I did send an email to 9 new apprentices. The high response rate is from our new apprentice web page:

Other than that, I didn't get much done and I've got plenty of tasks to move on. So I'm going to wrap up for the night with my handwriting, my Holosync meditation and go to sleep.

I'm beat.

Til tomorrow...

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